The incident reports are piling up around our house. Today when we picked Ally up from school there was a report in her box. For some reason I was feeling confident that my child was an angel and that she had simply fallen or been injured by someone else, so I glanced nonchalantly at the report and said to Ally (and her teachers) “What did you do this time?”
Then I saw the words “talked to Ally about biting and will continue to work on it.”
Now my kid is officially a biter. A trouble-maker. A bad kid.
Ally’s teacher explained that Ally and one of her friends were fighting over a toy outside and Ally bit her arm. Her teacher also said that it was totally unlike Ally and it was totally unexpected. She said that Ally seemed to immediately know that she had done something wrong and looked at her teachers wide-eyed and nodded while they explained that she should not bite her friends. I am hoping that this incident will scare her enough so she doesn’t do anything like it again.
This is one where I don’t know exactly what my mom would say. I feel like, while she would definitely not want Ally biting other kids, she might point out that it is okay for Ally to learn to stand up for herself. While she should share with her friends, she doesn’t have to give up a toy every time someone else wants to play. I’ll just cross my fingers that the biting thing is an isolated incident.
Of course, that wasn’t the end of the evening just yet. Ally had other tests planned for us. She whined the whole way home, then shortly after arriving home she spotted the side table where her dad had some papers from work and a pencil. Since we don’t have a single toy or crayon or book in the entire house, Ally wanted to play with the pencil and paper and nothing else would do. I took the pencil and put it farther back on the table and told Ally that it was daddy’s pencil and she’d have to find something else to play with.
I’ve taken things away from her before, I’m sure I have. And I am sure she’s whined a little and wanted the thing back but I have found something else to offer her and after some convincing, we’ve moved on with our lives.
But this time was different. Ally broke into tears and screams. She tried harder to get to the pencil, I told her no and tried to take her over to her table where she has plenty of coloring and drawing options. In an instant, Ally was at a new level of upset. Full on Toddler Tantrum of Terror.
I didn’t know where to go with this. I was pretty sure at this point, even giving her the pencil and papers wouldn’t remedy her state. I wanted to hold her and rock her and say “there, there, you’re okay” but she was the one who was trying to do something wrong. She was being bad, so telling her it was okay seemed counterproductive. And also I was afraid she would hurt me.
Chris came in and tried to help, but she didn’t want anyone to get close to her. We tried to distract her. We sat her on the bottom step and gave her the glitter glue water bottle thing that is supposed to calm kids down. But the tantrum was too big. She eventually wandered off and dramatically fell down on the dog bed and cried there for a while. We just watched. After a few more minutes she must have gotten bored with it. Chris saw an in and asked her if she’d like to go color at her table. She answered with a whiney “yes” and all was forgotten.
She’s had tiny tantrums before, but this was her first massive one. I’m not sure I can take many more of those. Mom would probably just laugh and tell me to suck it up. All of the fun and good times we usually have are well worth a few fits. Maybe you start to get used to them after awhile?